Soap Box: How about some civility?

by Larry Schuster

December 29,2007

This is the time of year when cramming is rampant. Students cram for finals. Merchants cram to accommodate holiday shoppers. Offices cram in Christmas parties. Families cram in holiday meals. Churches cram in special services. Holiday treats are crammed into our fat little tummies. And some quietly hope the holidays pass quickly, allowing life to return to its normal Monday-through-Friday 8-to-5 routine. As creatures of habit, we crave routine, regardless of boredom and predictability. Routines are safe. They allow us to live confidently until change is forced upon us.

However, there are folks who attentively and objectively view life's steady march as opportunity. The quiet observance of subtle patterns and nuances in life grants them the confidence for a better day tomorrow. As 2007 is about to close, it seems a particularly good time to reflect, as a new year awaits and, with it, hope. My wife enjoys beginning each new year of sales production at zero. She relishes a clean slate and the opportunity for another profitable year. The frustrations and failures of the past year are left behind. On Jan. 1, all is new.

What would you think if on Jan.1 we Columbians resolved to conduct our public business in a civil and polite manner? What if we honestly considered opposing views? Do you think we could shed the arrogant notions of ourselves that so effectively alienate us from the rest of the state? And—wow—what if we simply took life just a bit less seriously? After all, is not laughter the best medicine? And—jeez—could we be just a bit ordinary and not regale ourselves with every avant-garde slogan and piece of art? Finally, what if we learned to mind our own business and butt out of the other guys'? Each of these propositions would go a long way in improving our community, for citizens and visitors alike.

We could experience a crossover into our driving habits. As a community, we have bad driving manners. Sliding through stop signs and making last-minute dashes through stop lights could be replaced with calm approaches to our intersections and politely waiting for our turns. This would save a bundle of money by eliminating the need for "big brother" cameras snooping around signal lights.

City council meetings could become much less torturous if condescending attitudes were left outside. Just the insertion of "ma'am," "sir," "thank you" or "please" into public testimony would change the tenor of each meeting. After all, do we wish to truly be listened to or simply tolerated?

The smoking debate would vanish just as simply as the wafting smoke if we did not self-righteously seek to impose our paternalistic morals on others. What is it about our community that we are constantly telling other folks how they should eat, work, think and play? We possess every form of complainer and whiner within our fair community. We often strive for a better life by telling others how to live their lives. We never consider the remote possibility that we could be wrong, that there is more than one way to solve a problem or live a life.

As a community, we do not trust people with differing opinions. We second-guess every consultant hired by City Hall. I am not sure why we even waste our money on consultants. Most are simply dismissed because of a profit motive or political bent. We hold public meeting after public meeting yet complain that we are not listened to. We confuse failure to get our way with not being heard. Personally, I believe people are hungry for civility.

George Parker, a consummate gentleman, urged this a year or so ago and is a living example. Recently he made a point to compliment my son's conduct at a Pachyderm Club meeting in which my son thanked the Pachyderms for sponsoring him at Boys State. I enjoy compliments. I work hard to honestly earn them and have learned that freely offering them is essential to receiving them. Appreciation and true tolerance are invaluable. Our cup is more than half full. May we treasure our blessings and bite our lips during 2008.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

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